Following is a satirical piece I wrote about President Trump’s first trip overseas. That was after he had fired the FBI Director and his contemporaneous notes had become known.
So I don’t confuse anyone, this entire story is fiction written purely for its entertainment value. But could it have been true?? I know some wish it so!!
Memo to the File – May 27, 2017 – Just in case I get a subpoena to testify someplace
Fox News rushed to cover the President returning to Washington from his “triumphal” 9 day trip overseas. The only problem is it was all a ruse. The plane they videoed arriving back in Washington was the backup Air Force One plane that had never even left the US! Did you notice there were no close-ups of Trump getting off the plane. That’s because the media was kept far away. The figures getting off the plane were all ringers which from a distance appeared to be the Trump party.
On the other hand, everyone saw the President, close up, board Air Force One and leave Italy. What no one knew then was that the plane did not head out across the Atlantic toward Washington but took up a heading directly to Russia. Trump landed in Moscow 3 hours later where he immediately asked for political asylum.
I still have clandestine contacts in Moscow from my years of doing business in the old Soviet Union. Yesterday one of those friends went out on a long limb. He contacted me and said he had pictures of Trump arriving in Moscow from Italy and Air Force One sitting on the tarmac at Sheremetyevo International Airport surrounded by Russian Federal Security Service (FSB) agents.
He also said another friend has fairly high quality video of Trump and his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, dressed in shapeless women’s clothing and babushkas being hustled off the plane and into a waiting SUV. He thinks Trump was wearing part of a nun’s outfit, probably stolen from the Vatican. Two women he assumes were Melania and Ivonka Trump also disembarked and left in a different vehicle.
He says Trump is trying to make a deal to trade more classified information in exchange for Kremlin protection like they are giving Edward Snowden. But apparently Trump doesn’t know anything. It seems that the US intelligence agencies saw the security threat Trump was going to pose ahead of time and took appropriate steps. They’ve been feeding him “alternate intelligence” that the Russians recognized immediately as spy trash from the 1950s!
My friend says the situation is much too hot right now to get anything out of Russia. But he promised he will try to work something through the Germans or Brits to tip the Washington Post or CNN as soon as he can!
May 29, 2017 – Update to my file memo of May 27, 2017
My Russian contact says the CIA pressed Alex Baldwin into service to impersonate the President until they can figure out what to do. He said they are confident Trump’s base won’t know the difference since Baldwin makes a better Trump character than even Trump himself. And if others are suspicious they will be so thankful Trump is neutralized that they won’t say anything.