We passed another milestone in America this past week: the worst mass shooting in modern American history. Predictably, almost before the shooting stopped, the gun control advocates were “up in arms”, so to speak. But this time Republicans have chimed in as well saying we need to look at “banning bump stocks”. Even the NRA, caught a bit off its game, is promoting more regulation, but not legislation.
Month: October 2017
Letters to Ohio Senators and Congressman
Following is a letter drafted late in 2016 by a group of citizens expressing concerns about governance under the new Trump Administration. The letters were all identical, signed by eight citizens, and hand delivered to the offices of Senators Brown and Portman as well as Congressman Stivers. The goal was to outline our areas of concern and encourage our legislative representatives to exercise the authority of their co-equal branch of our national government.
The Trump Presidency
Following is a Letter to the Editor of the Columbus Dispatch I wrote in late December of 2016. It was written to express the concerns many of my neighbors and I felt about the reality of a Trump Presidency. The letter was published in the Dispatch in its entirety at that time.
Let’s End Congressional Gerrymandering in Ohio
Following is a summary of the key elements of a proposed Ohio constitutional amendment to end partisan gerrymandering of Congressional Districts in Ohio. The proposed amendment is a citizens initiative and is being promoted for passage in the 2018 general election. Petitions are currently being circulated throughout Ohio. 306,000 valid signatures are required to get the amendment on the ballot. I strongly endorse the initiative.
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Trump’s First Overseas Trip
Following is a satirical piece I wrote about President Trump’s first trip overseas. That was after he had fired the FBI Director and his contemporaneous notes had become known.
So I don’t confuse anyone, this entire story is fiction written purely for its entertainment value. But could it have been true?? I know some wish it so!!
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Memo to the File – May 27, 2017 – Just in case I get a subpoena to testify someplace
Fox News rushed to cover the President returning to Washington from his “triumphal” 9 day trip overseas. The only problem is it was all a ruse. The plane they videoed arriving back in Washington was the backup Air Force One plane that had never even left the US! Did you notice there were no close-ups of Trump getting off the plane. That’s because the media was kept far away. The figures getting off the plane were all ringers which from a distance appeared to be the Trump party.
On the other hand, everyone saw the President, close up, board Air Force One and leave Italy. What no one knew then was that the plane did not head out across the Atlantic toward Washington but took up a heading directly to Russia. Trump landed in Moscow 3 hours later where he immediately asked for political asylum.
I still have clandestine contacts in Moscow from my years of doing business in the old Soviet Union. Yesterday one of those friends went out on a long limb. He contacted me and said he had pictures of Trump arriving in Moscow from Italy and Air Force One sitting on the tarmac at Sheremetyevo International Airport surrounded by Russian Federal Security Service (FSB) agents.
He also said another friend has fairly high quality video of Trump and his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, dressed in shapeless women’s clothing and babushkas being hustled off the plane and into a waiting SUV. He thinks Trump was wearing part of a nun’s outfit, probably stolen from the Vatican. Two women he assumes were Melania and Ivonka Trump also disembarked and left in a different vehicle.
He says Trump is trying to make a deal to trade more classified information in exchange for Kremlin protection like they are giving Edward Snowden. But apparently Trump doesn’t know anything. It seems that the US intelligence agencies saw the security threat Trump was going to pose ahead of time and took appropriate steps. They’ve been feeding him “alternate intelligence” that the Russians recognized immediately as spy trash from the 1950s!
My friend says the situation is much too hot right now to get anything out of Russia. But he promised he will try to work something through the Germans or Brits to tip the Washington Post or CNN as soon as he can!
May 29, 2017 – Update to my file memo of May 27, 2017
My Russian contact says the CIA pressed Alex Baldwin into service to impersonate the President until they can figure out what to do. He said they are confident Trump’s base won’t know the difference since Baldwin makes a better Trump character than even Trump himself. And if others are suspicious they will be so thankful Trump is neutralized that they won’t say anything.
Stay tuned!!!
Letter to Ohio Senator Portman
Self explanatory letter to Senator Rob Portman delivered via email.
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Guns in Daycare Centers? Really?
Following is a Letter to the Editor of the Columbus Dispatch I wrote on July 7th of this year in response to a new gun rights bill introduced into the General Assembly. The bill would have eliminated prosecution of individuals who carry concealed weapons into schools, day care facility, police stations, and other sensitive places provided that they leave the premises if asked to!
Portman Didn’t Know How He Would Have Voted!
The following is a Letter to the Editor I wrote to the Columbus Dispatch regarding the Graham-Cassidy healthcare bill. Ohio Senator Rob Portman was asked by a journalist how he would have voted on the bill if it had come up for a vote. Following is his answer!!
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I Might Have Been Secretary of State
I wrote this satirical piece in January for presentation to my writers’s group. The funny part is that they at first believed it!! I took that as a real complement!
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Trump Will Save the Coal Industry!!
Following is a satirical piece I wrote in December last year about President-Elect Trump’s brilliant strategy for revitalizing the coal industry in America.
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Black, White, or Gray?? 