Trump’s First Overseas Trip

Following is a satirical piece I wrote about President Trump’s first trip overseas.  That was after he had fired the FBI Director and his contemporaneous notes had  become known.

So I don’t confuse anyone, this entire story is fiction written purely for its entertainment value. But could it have been true?? I know some wish it so!!

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Memo to the File – May 27, 2017 – Just in case I get a subpoena to testify someplace

Fox News rushed to cover the President returning to Washington from his “triumphal” 9 day trip overseas. The only problem is it was all a ruse. The plane they videoed arriving back in Washington was the backup Air Force One plane that had never even left the US! Did you notice there were no close-ups of Trump getting off the plane. That’s because the media was kept far away. The figures getting off the plane were all ringers which from a distance appeared to be the Trump party.

On the other hand, everyone saw the President, close up, board Air Force One and leave Italy. What no one knew then was that the plane did not head out across the Atlantic toward Washington but took up a heading directly to Russia. Trump landed in Moscow 3 hours later where he immediately asked for political asylum.

I still have clandestine contacts in Moscow from my years of doing business in the old Soviet Union. Yesterday one of those friends went out on a long limb. He contacted me and said he had pictures of Trump arriving in Moscow from Italy and Air Force One sitting on the tarmac at Sheremetyevo International Airport surrounded by Russian Federal Security Service (FSB) agents.

He also said another friend has fairly high quality video of Trump and his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, dressed in shapeless women’s clothing and babushkas being hustled off the plane and into a waiting SUV. He thinks Trump was wearing part of a nun’s outfit, probably stolen from the Vatican. Two women he assumes were Melania and Ivonka Trump also disembarked and left in a different vehicle.

He says Trump is trying to make a deal to trade more classified information in exchange for Kremlin protection like they are giving Edward Snowden. But apparently Trump doesn’t know anything. It seems that the US intelligence agencies saw the security threat Trump was going to pose ahead of time and took appropriate steps. They’ve been feeding him “alternate intelligence” that the Russians recognized immediately as spy trash from the 1950s!

My friend says the situation is much too hot right now to get anything out of Russia. But he promised he will try to work something through the Germans or Brits to tip the Washington Post or CNN as soon as he can!

May 29, 2017 – Update to my file memo of May 27, 2017

My Russian contact says the CIA pressed Alex Baldwin into service to impersonate the President until they can figure out what to do. He said they are confident Trump’s base won’t know the difference since Baldwin makes a better Trump character than even Trump himself. And if others are suspicious they will be so thankful Trump is neutralized that they won’t say anything.

Stay tuned!!!

Guns in Daycare Centers? Really?

Following is a Letter to the Editor of the Columbus Dispatch I wrote on July 7th of this year in response to a new gun rights bill introduced into the General Assembly. The bill would have eliminated prosecution of individuals who carry concealed weapons into schools, day care facility, police stations, and other sensitive places provided that they leave the premises if asked to!

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A+ Puerto Rican Relief Effort

The media is again attacking the greatest President in American history! This time CNN, the Washington Post, and the rest of the mainstream media are all lining up to criticize President Trump’s Puerto Rican hurricane relief effort. “He isn’t paying enough attention to the pain and suffering”, they say. But everybody knows better than that. He tweeted about it 4 times just last week.

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Political Satire

I have been encouraged by some readers to post several satirical pieces I have written over the past year. I have decided to do that. Most of the posts are about the strange political environment we have been experiencing. None are intended to be serious representation of fact.

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Can We Survive Trump??

I have not written on my blog in recent months. I was so demoralized by the outcome of the 2016 Presidential Election I just needed time to reflect. I was never enamored with Clinton, but I knew from observing him for 30 years that Trump was dangerous. I could not, and after 8 months of the Trump Administration still can’t, imagine what will become of our country if we actually have to endure 4 years of this insanity.

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Trump will be President!!!

I have decided to suspend new blog posts, at least in the near term. We are entering a new dark chapter in American history and I can’t even imagine where it will lead. My heart is just not into writing anything else until I see if we have a democratic future that includes respect for diversity and any accommodation of political compromise.

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